If you're seeing this, you already know what I'm about to say. See that girl to your right? That's me. Most of the time, I'm Ellie Russo. Some of the time, I'm someone else entirely.
This event has been called a "shift" by some. In this "shift", it is believed that approximately one week out of the month, every one of us enters an altered state of consciousness, in which we embody another identity completely.
Freaky? You've seen nothing. No one knows exactly why or how it happens, we just know that it does. Know what's even freakier? These identities come with special abilities. Some would say they're super powers. You know, as in the kind superheroes have?
It's easier for some people to accept and some struggle with it until they give into the reality of what's happening to them. I've decided for the path of least resistance. I can't say I completely understand what goes on, but it is happening, with or without my understanding and permission. What else can we do but make the best of it?
That's where you come in. You're in this listing because I love and trust you enough to reveal who this other self is. And because I love and trust you, I'm enlisting your help in the next big challenge in my life.
Welcome to #loveislouder.
Now, I know some of you are eye-rolly right now, ready to dismiss this as more of my hippie mumbo jumbo. But let me tell you a little about what I've found out about my alterego and what I'm looking to do here.
I promise there are cookies at the end of this brick road. 💖️️ ️🙌 🍪🍪
Meet Elsa Bloodstone. She's the sole survivor in a long line of (two) near-immortal monster hunters.
You know how I know this? Remember those abilities our alteregos come with? As it turns out, we're not the only ones who took notice.
Their (or our) lives have been written down for posterity in the form of comic book lore. All your favorites? They're running right among us.
I'm sure there were creative liberties taken in the writing of these biographies, but from accounts of people who've been at this for much longer and the own clues I've left for myself, it would appear that we are all super. "We are all special."
When Elsa first came into my life, she rocked the boat. I was so angry and hurt at having pieces of my life ripped from me without my consent.
See, as much as we try to contain this mess to the week our memories become not quite our own, it spills over. I "lucked out" with an alterego who has no problem being intrusive.
Remember the stitches I had on my arm earlier this year? That was Elsa's greeting card. Let me tell you, it was not fun waking up confused on the floor of my bathroom covered in blood. From there, it only got worse.
I've come to learn that she's kind of a bulldozer. While some people have a gentle awakening, Elsa was a four-alarm fire.
Within the first month that she popped into my life, she gave me stitches, got me fired, blackmailed me and tried to take over my life even in weeks she's not around.
My best friend thinks I'm crazy, I've since moved out of my apartment and half of my family has no idea how to talk to me anymore.
I wanted to hate her. I rejected her with all my forces. From what I can tell, when she was around, I fought it.
She has a horrid attitude that's eaten away at my friendships. All I wanted was my old life back.
And then, something odd happened. I got stronger. Knowing what she'd been through and that she'd survived made me stronger.
I don't think it's a coincidence that this is all happening now. And I don't think it's a coincidence who our alteregos are.
Our spirits know better, our souls have devised this plan much before we were born. You don't have to believe me. Some people think it's crazy.
But look around. People are flying, teleporting, lifting cars with one hand. Something out of reason is happening. Something in the way we've learned the world works is amiss.
We can embrace it or we can go against it. Either way, the world will shift as it must. But suffering is a choice. And I choose not to.
Whoever she is, she is a part of me. Acceptance is the only choice.
After a few months of struggle, it finally hit me that I was coming at it from the wrong angle. I'd been fighting Elsa, trying to eliminate her influence in my life and bemoaning how awful she is and what a mess she made.
See the pattern there? How it's all about me? I'm not proud to admit that it took me a while to realize what I was doing. And when I did, it became clear why things weren't working out.
I was stuck in my own ego, which left little room to see it from anyone else's point of view. What was it like for her? What if it were me in her position? Would I be any kinder? After all, people tend to go on defensive when they're attacked.
It occurred to me that I never made any actual effort to accept her into my life, yet I expected her to behave in a way that was favorable to me. Is that not the definition of selfish?
This is the solution I found. While I'll do my own part in accepting her in my head and in charge of my body--should I start calling it 'our'?--I can't do it alone. You are the people around me who are most likely to come into contact with her.
I find it's often easier to handle difficult situations when we know what to expect. So I'll try to put that down for all of you, as I ask for your help to make this transition as comfortable and seamless as it can be.
When dealing with Elsa, here's what I'd like you to keep in mind.
Even though sometimes we hate the way someone behaves, it is often more productive to approach the situation from an empathetic place than to immediately throw up defenses.
No matter where we are in life, we all struggle with self-acceptance and worthiness. I've learned that sometimes those who are seemingly the least deserving of kindness are often the ones who need it the most.
This may seem like an impossible request and I wish I weren't putting you in this position, but I know each one of you and one of the things that I admire most about you is your ability to love.
Though most of you don't even think about it, as someone who's been on the other side of it, please don't take it for granted. Empathy is not a given. Having the courage to wear someone else's shoes, even for a little while, is a rare gift.
A gift I've seen you give over and over. So I'm asking you to please find it in you to offer kindness to someone who wouldn't know what to do with it, because no one ever bothered to show it to her.
I figure knowing some things about what is possibly behind a terrible attitude might help tap into the deep well of compassion in you.
So here's what I've learned about Elsa.